Week #6 Language Blog

Prior to starting this assignment I was convinced that I was not going to be able to complete it, at least not properly. You see, I love to talk/express myself, and when I do (often), I constantly use my hands, and facial expressions as aids.  This assignment required that I completely change my way of communicating, something that I knew would be difficult to accomplish. In order to complete it, and gain from it, I knew that I had to challenge myself. Whether it was the topics of conversation that I chose, or the timing, I was challenged!

PART 1 - NO SPEAKING

Spending fifteen minutes with someone and trying to communicate without being able to speak can be extremely challenging, but my findings throughout the course of this exercise were very interesting. For Part 1 of our assignment, I asked my 17 year-old daughter Stephanie to help me with it, and to be honest, I found the exercise to be, overall, fairly easy. I think that at first we both found it a bit awkward, that awkwardness turned to amusement (it felt like we were playing charades), and that amusement turned into an understanding that if we were going to get through with the assignment we needed to be serious and patient. We engaged in a very deep conversation, which entailed discussing our feelings about a few topics (my mother getting older, death, etc. etc). The conversation actually lasted longer than fifteen minutes, but we were communicating so well, time just flew by. I was blown away because the conversation just seemed to flow and she understood what I was saying. Of course there were moments of silence while I tried to figure out how I was going to convey my thoughts and or feelings, there were also moments in which I was frustrated with myself, but overall as already mentioned, the conversation was a success. 

After the conversation was over, I realized, with my daughter's help that is, that the reason why it was as successful was because of her. Stephanie and I have a very close relationship, she is very respectful of me, and knows me very well. First of all, she knew the importance of this assignment, so she displayed an abundance of patience. She was also determined to try to understand what I was saying, so if we came across a word that I couldn't act out as easily, she would guess until she got it (always staying on track). Lastly, our relationship has allowed us from time to time, to communicate without actually speaking, something that was extremely helpful during this exercise.

NOTHING HAS BEEN SPOKEN, BUT YET SO MUCH HAS BEEN SAID!

Regardless of how successful this first part of the assignment turned out, I strongly believe that if Stephanie and I represented different cultures, "Culture Stephanie" would have the advantage of communicating complex ideas. Her culture is able to communicate in a specific, detailed, precise and less time consuming fashion. My culture would struggle when communicating complex thoughts because such conversations require more than just hand signs, and/or body language. I feel that "Culture Stephanie" would either attempt to have a conversation with "Culture Marta" and in time become frustrated, annoyed, and more than likely lose interest or would communicate with "Culture Marta" realizing that the conversations would have to be limited.

The deaf and mute are examples of individuals who have difficulty communicating with spoken language and because I do not sign, I would never attempt to communicate with them, unless they approached me first or if I knew that I could communicate with them in writing (wouldn't want to offend). This is unfortunate though because more than likely I am missing out on getting to know really interesting people or I could be making someone feel like this girl.

I AM DEAF AND THIS IS HOW I FEEL!!!

 
 

PART 2 - NO EMOTION (TRAPPED)

 

 

 

I honestly cannot believe that I lasted the full fifteen minutes, this part of the assignment was extremely difficult for me. I am constantly using my hands, making facial expressions and or changing my tone when I speak, so not being able to do any of it made me feel beyond awkward and trapped. As already mentioned, I needed a challenge, so instead of having a calm and pleasant conversation, I actually purposely engaged in an discussion/argument with someone who had no idea what I was doing.

It was fascinating to see the reaction on that person's face when I showed no emotion whatsoever during the argument/discussion. At one point, she even made fun on the way I was talking; the nerve! I noticed that there were moments when that person really did not know how to respond because I am certain that she was focused more on my reactions, or lack thereof than the actual topic. It was very difficult for me as well. Things were said, that, had I been able to communicate the way I am accustomed to, would have made me raise my voice, make my hands move, my body shift and tense up, and just overall make me look angry. 

 

I personally feel that physical embellishments are crucial when communicating with others. Words are also important, but depending on the tone, they can take on different meanings or can be more or less convincing. Body language plays a huge role in a conversation, it has the potential of keeping a conversation interesting, it can be engaging, it can convey many feelings like sorrow, disappointment, love, and happiness. In other words, it enables us to express emotions.

It is unfortunate, but there are people who cannot read body language. Visual processing problems prevents autistic people from doing so. I actually have mixed feelings about this situation. On one hand, I am someone who really needs and/or wants to make my loved ones feel loved, wanted, appreciated, etc. I do so in many ways, but most importantly, I do it by communicating it to them. It is important for me to know that they know how I feel about them. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like if they could not identify or relate to those feelings. Luckily, I do not have that problem. On the other hand, I think it would be ideal for children who live in verbally abusive homes to lack the ability to read body language.

AUTISTIC, HARD TO IDENTIFY EMOTIONS!